why?

flames to dust.
you all know the song, i guess. why do all good things come to an end?
i don't know. for a few days you've been having a good time, fun, really, and then, whack!, everything falls apart. and you are alone, lonely, and both sad and enraged.
i don't want to accept this! who the hell thinks that they can do this to me and others? what kind of higher power is that cruel to find it amusing to cause other people such a god-damned misery? what did the victims, yes, they're all victims, do to deserve this?
i'll tell you, nothing. yup, you can say that it's all logic and rational, that it's all caused by everyone's mistakes, but i say that there are coincidences that are out of anyone's reach to influence. so who controls this?
for such a long time i've been searching for a tiny little bit of luck, almost giving up, almost breaking down, hopelessness, in the process. and now i've gotten a taste what luck is, what a good time really means, and it's simply taken away from me!
i know, luck is a cow and searches its fellows, but this isn't a lack of luck. this is a fucking pile of shit, and don't anyone dare tell me that there are reasons or that this is exactly what i deserved. 'cause no one deserves that kind of misery. who the hell finds this funny? i know i'm an atheist, but that's no reason. i know i've made mistakes, but i've paid for each and every one of them! i've had absolutely no luck when it came to facing the consequences, i wasn't spared with anything. so that's no reason either!
i'm a friendly person, i like to help, the only thing i've ever wanted was not to be lonely. and now, i am that exactly. it hurts like hell, but i refuse to give up, i refuse to submit to a higher power's ill will, i won't give anyone the satisfaction of knowing i'm defeated.
i've always had to be the strong one, and now i'll keep on being strong. so, deal with it.