Difficulties

Sometimes life could be so simple, one might think, as I do every day, every hour, and yes, lately every minute. But how come it isn't? Why does everyone want their life to become more uncomplicated and yet never succeed in realizing that? Why do some always have to make it more complicated instead? It doesn't make them any happier, on the contrary, they are wrapping themselves in chains until they can't escape the prison they built for themselves anymore. And when they at last manage to burst all the chains, they hurt everyone they love.
Some want one thing, but they aren't any happier when they've finally gotten it, being plagued by doubts as to whether they've earned it all right. Then they draw the conclusion that they aren't worthy of something or someone. And this hurts both themselves and the person they want.
I know this. One moment they pull you close, and the next they push you away, so far you can't find back together. It hurts like hell to be so close and yet so far apart, to see someone suffering because they deny themselves somone they want but don't think they deserve, to be helpless because nothing you say is a valid argument to them, yes, to be completely lonely, standing in front of a stranger.
If they tell you something about their feelings, you can most surely build on the expectation that on this follows a period of extreme reticence, up to their running away because they are afraid of their feelings, of what you might become together and of the possibility that you end up hurt again.
But this is the thing that hurts the most. And you can do nothing about it.