Difficulties

Sometimes life could be so simple, one might think, as I do every day, every hour, and yes, lately every minute. But how come it isn't? Why does everyone want their life to become more uncomplicated and yet never succeed in realizing that? Why do some always have to make it more complicated instead? It doesn't make them any happier, on the contrary, they are wrapping themselves in chains until they can't escape the prison they built for themselves anymore. And when they at last manage to burst all the chains, they hurt everyone they love.
Some want one thing, but they aren't any happier when they've finally gotten it, being plagued by doubts as to whether they've earned it all right. Then they draw the conclusion that they aren't worthy of something or someone. And this hurts both themselves and the person they want.
I know this. One moment they pull you close, and the next they push you away, so far you can't find back together. It hurts like hell to be so close and yet so far apart, to see someone suffering because they deny themselves somone they want but don't think they deserve, to be helpless because nothing you say is a valid argument to them, yes, to be completely lonely, standing in front of a stranger.
If they tell you something about their feelings, you can most surely build on the expectation that on this follows a period of extreme reticence, up to their running away because they are afraid of their feelings, of what you might become together and of the possibility that you end up hurt again.
But this is the thing that hurts the most. And you can do nothing about it.

grouped letters... (i.e. words)

what do we know, actually, besides what's contained on our piece of the world-puzzle?
the answer is: nothing. our knowledge is the size of our piece, we don't know, we can't know anything more than that.
but sometimes you'd want to know about things that go farther than the reach of your piece. you'd want to know what a loved person thinks, more detailed than he or she could ever describe, or what they have experienced in their lives. well, you can never get the whole picture, never know anything completely, except perhaps about yourself.
why? hm, because even if someone wants to tell you about everything they've experienced, everything they think about, they are either limited by language, which sometimes doesn't permit the speaker to say the things as he really wants to, or they leave out some details, which they think are too unimportant to be mentioned or simply have forgotten, but which are, nevertheless, the things you'd need the most.
however, i'd think that it really is for the better that we never get insights like this in another person, even if we think it would allow us to know someone as well as ourselves. it's enough to be troubled by only ourselves, we don't need difficulty in telling who of us is who. which could happen if we knew the other one as we know ourselves. a loss of our own identity...
and wouldn't it be boring if the other one could never surprise us anymore?
you feel me?

technology...

i'm soory but there won't be any posts for a while now, 'cause i'm having problems with my internet access, among several other things. i'll try to get back online as soon as i can...

water...

men...

and other catastrophes. you may know enough about the whole topic, so you won't need me to chew it all up again. i'm pulling a lazy one... ;)

thoughts...

wow, the definition of my blog. actually it's all about thoughts... ok, and impressions... and i admitted i would bring up anything i want, so i'm free in choice...
i won't start with those things like: where do we come from? where do we go? what is it all about?
there are enough people out there wondering about those questions already.
no, i'll take a different approach...
have you ever noticed that, even if you think you know something completely, that in fact you don't? it's like the world in its whole is a puzzle, and each of us is and at the same time holds one piece. hard to imagine? just take a look at the normal family. you and a cousin know your grandparents, but you probably won't know his. and absolutely not his cousins, nor their grandparents. we're all pieces that fit together some way, but we all only know of the others which sides come to rest with ours, and the other way round...
take a little time and think about it

well...